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One of the recurring themes from early advice about internet dating back in the mid-late 1990s when cyberdating dating was still quite new was that singles would invest a lot of time into vetting via email and pre-date meeting phone calls. When they did that, they were thinking that by emailing and phoning for a month or more that they were well-qualifying their dating prospects.

Indeed, I have interviewed and know a number of engaged and married couples who did that. So, yes the results have been good.

But that was then and this is now.

Dating Tip #1 Do Keep the Goal in Mind

What is the goal of internet dating?

Online Dating is a tactic. It is a tactic in your total approach and strategy..

Remember what kind of tactic it is. However, when you are single and looking, Online Dating should be only one tactic in your whole "Looking for a Life Partner" strategy.

However, it should not be the single only one tactic you use!

Don't be so internet obsessed, looking at your profile and inbox that you miss the cute guy across from you trying to pick you up and get your number while you are hanging at Starbucks. Do not be so obsessed with your online presence that you are staring at your iPhone the entire time you are at the hotel bar that you miss the hot girl smiling and trying to make body language flirting eye contact with you. Keep some perspective and notice the people near you and around you as well.

What Kind of Tactic Is Internet Dating?

The Goal of Internet Dating is three-pronged:

Volume - You will connect with, screen, as well as meet quite a lot of singles you have never met before.

Access - You will access to a ton of singles who through other roads in your life you would otherwise have never met nor seen the mutual connection with friends (Facebook, LinkedIn, MySpace, Twitter - Online Dating is a specialized Sub-set of Social Media)

Efficiency - You can indeed be more efficient with your time rather than only doing a ton of activities hoping maybe to run into other singles and hoping maybe to have some commonalities, differences, and chemistry to want to date. You can search on criteria that matters to you. And you can do some qualifying for conversation, relationship, and social skills. With the niche dating sites for special interest groups by religion, hobby, location, or ethnic groups, you can be additionally efficient.

Just remember to be efficient, but not too efficient! Let a little life in and leave a little breathing room for serendipity. Because truly, you never DO know where you life partner relationship could come to you. Some singles who met via Online Dating who liked each other but didn't feel a personal match, made an introduction to a friend. They met, dated, and married each other.

Dating Tip #2 Stop wasting your precious life and segue to meet after 3-5 emails

Emailing to further connect and exchange small talk beyond 5 emails starts to acquaint you and bond with a perfect stranger who is still 98% fantasy. Until you meet in person, you cannot validate that you have real chemistry. Time and again singles will bond and connect and feel like, "he is my Soul Mate, we are so connected!" Or they may say, "I stare at your photo daily you are so beautiful."

These are not real relationships. Then they meet and zip, no, nada, nothing in person. There was no in-person chemistry.

Dating Tip #3 Remember Real Communication occurs in person - Watch Your Words

What Do You Mean?

We will often use the same words and yet have different connotations and nuanced understandings of the words we use. The best way to check and validate our understanding and to talk about what do you want and what do you not want in a relationship at least initially is really best done in-person.

Also, again, this more in-depth conversation of emails and phone calls and hearts attaching and bonding might prove to be completely superfluous when upon meeting you discover in 8 seconds that you have no in-person chemistry.

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