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Are you finding living with an Aspergers husband or partner something of a rocky road?

Do you worry that love might not be enough to ensure the survival of your relationship?

However much you love him, the challenges facing a 'neuro-typical' (NT) woman living with a man who has Asperger syndrome (officially diagnosed or not) should not be underestimated. Of course, his challenges should not be underestimated either, but right now we are focusing on you. One of the commonest questions you might find yourself asking - in vain, it often seems - is "Why does he do that?"

And this question is really the nub of it. The typical behaviors you might see in someone with AS, wherever they fall on the spectrum, often just don't make any sense to a neuro-typical observer - even if that observer is their wife. People with AS have what you might call a different 'guidance system' for what they do, what they think, and what they say. It all makes perfect sense to them, but you can be left floundering.

The Aspergers husband/partner has a different guidance system

A large part of this difficulty is because people with Aspergers process experience in a very different way from neuro-typical people. Typically (this is not a hard and fast rule), NTs handle experience through a mix of thoughts and feelings. People with AS tend to rely much more on logical analysis, so much so that other people often think they lack any emotional understanding or response (which is not the case).

It's easy to see how this difference of approach can lead to serious misunderstanding. In addition, many people with AS find it very difficult to deal with the emotional reactions of others, firstly, because those reactions make no sense to them and secondly, because they easily get overwhelmed by them, causing them to stress out. And, as you know, it's very hard to communicate with someone who's stressed out.

So what can a wife or partner of someone with AS do to make life easier for herself and for him?

Hypnosis is a fast and powerful way to learn new approaches

Aspergers husband is an audio hypnosis session developed by psychologists with wide experience of helping couples with AS related difficulties. It will help you develop and hone the emotional intelligence skills that can transform your relationship.